| 01) | obsequious | kiss-uppy; see SYCOPHANT |
| 02) | beatitude | supreme blessedness or exalted happiness |
| 03) | bete noire | ("black beast" in French) a person or thing that one particularly dislikes or dreads |
| 04) | bode | to be an omen of |
| 05) | dank | creepily moist; damp and chilly |
| 06) | ecumenical | pertaining to (the unity of) the whole Christian Church; general or universal |
| 07) | fervid | enthusiastic; heated or vehement in spirit; burning, glowing, or intensely hot |
| 08) | fetid | stinking |
| 09) | gargantuan | very very very large |
| 10) | heyday | peak of popularity, success, or strength |
| 11) | incubus | an otherworldly nightmare; something that oppresses one like a nightmare |
| 12) | infrastructure | underlying support for society, like phone lines, waterways, etc. |
| 13) | inveigle | to entice, lure, or ensnare by flattery or artful talk (followed by into); to acquire or obtain by beguiling talk or methods (followed by from or away) |
| 14) | kudos | congratulations; honor, glory, or acclaim |
| 15) | lagniappe | free-with-purchase gift; gratuity or tip; unexpected or indirect benefit |
| 16) | prolix | long and wordy; prone to speaking/writing wordily |
| 17) | protégé | a student or mini-me; a person who is guided and supported by an older and more experienced person |
| 18) | prototype | original draft or model; something analogous to another thing of a later period; predecessor |
| 19) | sycophant | kisser-upper; see OBSEQUIOUS |
| 20) | tautology | redundancy |
| 21) | truckle | to submit or yield OBSEQUIOUSLY or tamely (usually followed by to) |
| 22) | accolade | praise, award, or honor |
| 23) | acerbity | sourness or astringency; harshness or severity, as of temper or expression |
| 24) | attrition | a decrease in numbers, size, or strength; wearing down or weakening of resistance; abrasion |
| 25) | bromide | a compound of the element bromine; a platitude or trite saying; a platitudinous or boring person |
| 26) | chauvinist | someone who is aggressively or blindly patriotic; someone who believes one gender is superior to the other |
| 27) | chronic | lasting for an extended length of time, for example a chronic illness, for example chronic hiccups *looks around nervously* |
| 28) | expound | to talk at length about something; to explain in detail |
| 29) | factionalism | a state in which people are divided into factions/groups; conflict between factions |
| 30) | immaculate | pure, unblemished |
| 31) | imprecation | a curse or the act of cursing; slander |
| 32) | ineluctable | inescapable |
| 33) | mercurial | associated with the element mercury or the god Mercury; changeable, volatile, or erratic; animated, lively, or quick witted |
| 34) | palliate | to relieve or lessen without curing; mitigate or alleviate; to try to conceal the gravity of an offense by excuses or apologies |
| 35) | protocol | a set of rules or customs, especially dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette |
| 36) | resplendent | magnificent; shining brilliantly or gleaming |
| 37) | stigmatize | to mark with disgrace or infamy; to mark with a stigma or brand |
| 38) | sub rosa | confidentially, secretly, or privately |
| 39) | vainglory | excessive pride over one's own achievements, abilities, etc.; boastful vanity; empty pomp or show |
| 40) | vestige | a mark or trace of something no longer present; surviving evidence or remainder of some condition, practice, etc. |
| 41) | volition | the act or power of willing or choosing |
"Fionna! There's someone at the door!" yelled Cake, who was too chronically lazy to get it of her own volition. Besides, she was fighting a final boss on BMO, and if she left her character would truckle to the gargantuan incubus and lose a life.
"Got it!" said Fionna, opening the door. "What? There's no one here!"
"Is Guntella playing ding dong ditch again?" asked Cake, obviously peeved. If there was someone cool at the door, like the Ice King, it would have at least palliated her annoyance at the interruption.
"Well, kudos and accolades if she is, because there's no trace of her," replied Fionna. Usually Guntella would leave a feather behind as a vestige of her prank, so she wasn't very good at staying sub rosa.
Suddenly, Fionna noticed a small piece of paper on the doorstep. "Wait, I found something!" she called. It was an invitation, very prolix and full of tautologies and bromides. Fionna read it aloud:
"Fionna and Cake: You are hereby cordially invited to the Dice Queen's great, grand, and spectacular Dice Ball! Come for the time of your lives, and please be dressed to impress! Be there or be stigmatized as a square! Also, we have goodie bags for lagniappe. Peace!"
This got Cake's attention. "C'mon Fionna, we should go! I bet you could dance with Prince Gumball!" she teased.
"No way!" said Fionna fervidly. "He's too chauvinistic for me."
"What about Lumpy Space Prince? You know you like his lumps," joked Cake.
"Ew! He's my bete noire!" laughed Fionna.
"What about Marshall Lee? He's cute," said Cake, trying to inveigle Fionna into going.
"Too mercurial!" declared Fionna, blushing slightly.
"Then... Flame Prince?" suggested Cake.
Fionna turned a deeper shade of red. "But he's so-- so vainglorious!" she stammered.
"Aha!" said Cake in beatitude, seeing that her attrition was working. "You wanna see Flame Prince, don't you?"
"Okay, fine, maybe a little," admitted Fionna shyly, knowing that the ball was ineluctable now.
"Well, what are you waiting for, girl? Get your dress!" commanded Cake happily.
Later that evening, Fionna and Cake arrived at the Dice Ball. It seemed that word of the ball had spread ecumenically, because everyone was there: Lumpy Space Prince, expounding on something to Turtle Prince, Peppermint Maid, who appeared to be muttering imprecations in a corner, a few MO prototypes, and many more guests were mingling in the ballroom. The only person that wasn't there was the Countess of Lemongrab, who wasn't exactly enjoying a heyday of popularity. Although she was originally Prince Gumball's protégé, she had too many factional interests and wouldn't follow candy protocol, so she was sent away. Her reputation for acerbity ensured that she wouldn't get an invitation (and no one would want to deliver it to her dank, fetid castle anyway, especially since she ignored infrastructure like roads to get there).
"Fionna! Look over there!" Cake whispered, pointing. Fionna caught sight of Flame Prince, dressed immaculately in a red-orange tuxedo with flaming coattails. He was standing alone, which boded well for Fionna, but before she could approach him--
Suddenly, a hush came over the ballroom, as the Dice Queen appeared onstage, resplendent in an elaborate white gown with black dots. She was carried on a litter by several obsequious sycophants that looked suspiciously like penguins.
"Welcome, one and all, to the Dice Ball!" she proclaimed, to thunderous applause. "Now that everyone's here, let's begin with the main event, shall we? It wasn't mentioned in the invitation because... it's a surprise!"
An excited murmur went through the crowd. Dice Queen continued, "May I please have six female volunteers?"
"What do you think, Fionna? Let's go!" said Cake, dragging Fionna up to the stage before she could protest.
Soon, there were six volunteers assembled: Fionna, Cake, Ms. Candy Cane, Peppermint Maid, Ms. Cupcake, and Chelsea Bun. "Now, behind this screen," said Dice Queen, gesturing, "is a handsome mystery suitor, who just so happens to be looking for a girlfriend here at the Dice Ball! I'll give each of you a number, and then we'll roll a die to see which one of you lucky ladies gets to be his girlfriend!"
Glancing at the screen, Fionna began to feel excited, and forgot all about Flame Prince. Clutching the card that Dice Queen had handed her, she eagerly watched the die rolling, rolling, and landing... on six!
"Yes!" said Fionna. Dice Queen ripped away the screen, revealing the one and only Ice King! Fionna's new boyfriend! "This is the happiest day of my life," she declared, as Ice King led her onto the dance floor.
"I'm so happy for you, Fionna! And maybe a little bit jealous, because the Ice King is hot!" said Cake excitedly.
Fionna and Ice King danced the night away, and then they got married and lived happily ever after.
THE END
Sooooooooooo what do you think my peeps? Finn and Jake said they didn't like it, but they can be total party poopers sometimes, you know?? They just can't appreciate good literature. So instead, I thought I'd bring my fanfic to a wider audience. Gunter helped me hack into this girl's blog. You use these things for school? Weird. Aaaaaaanyway, I'd better go check on Gunter to make sure he hasn't taken over the world or anything while I wasn't looking. Peace out!
LOVE,
Ice King
P.S. If there's any princesses in Dr. Preston's class, I'm actually single and totally hawt. Call me! <3
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